Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
