nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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