When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
