Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
