Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
