I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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