Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
