Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
