but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize