Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
