Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
