Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
