I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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