yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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