I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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