oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
as a side note pls kill me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
