where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
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