Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
