U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Too much gin, very little bucket
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
