Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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