Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
