god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize