Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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