my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Someone came in the potted fern
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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