tell your sister to shave her snatch
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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