I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
