coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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