Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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