I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize