I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
