the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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