So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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