Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
