im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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