I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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