My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize