Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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