So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
