can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
