the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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