i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Randomize
