He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize