Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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