3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
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