why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
