It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
