so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
