she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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