dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
nutella sex= disaster
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
