I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
