she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
