i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
