you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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