I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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