Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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