i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think I sprained my soul last night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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