Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
