it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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