her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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