Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
