Small penises have feelings too.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
