What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
