My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
