Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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