I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
