brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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