he puts the penis in happiness.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
